Thursday, August 4, 2011

Sunset

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May I never miss a sunset or rainbow because I am looking down.
~Sara June Parker

I'm going through something. Not really sure what. Having a hard time sleeping.

I've been trying to make a conscience effort to cherish life. It's so short.
When I'm frustrated with the boys, I try to remind myself they will not always be little and soon will be out in this world on their own. I think about Manuel, already out in the world and I worry. I guess after you lose a child to murder, you never truly get over the fear. I pray for him every night.

While laying in bed with Fonzy, I pray to God that I die before him. No matter how bad he gets on my nerves at times, I don't want to be in this world without him. Been thinking about death/dying. I want to see Samuel, my Mom and I look forward to that, but praying it doesn't happen too soon.

See....told you I was going through something. Not really sure what. Just trying to live my life as best I can, enjoying the little every day moments....you know, like a sunset.

1 comment:

New York Chica said...

Ay chica. I wish for nothing but the best for you and your family. You have been thru alot and I can't imagine the pain you are experiencing but hope you are enjoying your boys and just living life for them. They need you. Sending you virtual hugs to you!