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I've often wondered what people will say of me once I'm gone. What memories they will hold on to. Do you ever wonder that?
We are on this earth for such a short time. Whether we get 1 yr. or 100, in the scheme of things, its just a dot of time.
Will my boys remember my laugh? Will they remember me knitting? What will they hold dear? What pictures will they cherish? I think about Manuel, far from me in Texas. What will his memories be? Will it be our disagreements? Our arguments? Will he remember I love him, even though we do fight? Is there something I can do now to change what he remembers?
If I go before Fonzy, what will he miss most about me? Will he see a tree in Fall, with the vibrant oranges, reds and yellows, and remember how much I love Fall. Sunsets, and clouds. Will he miss putting his hand under me while we sleep? The love we make, the fights we have, the life we live?
I think about this often. Maybe it's because I find myself forgetting....forgetting things about my Mom....forgetting things about Samuel. I want to hold onto those memories so tightly, but no matter how tight I hold on, they slip through my clenched hands...and I hate it.
Their stories mattered. My story matters. Our stories matter. And I don't want to forget them.
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