Today would of been your 53rd birthday, unfortunately you will forever be 31.
Words can never express how much I miss you. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you...even if it's just for a second. I hate that I find it hard to remember the sound of your voice, the way you laughed, the touch of your hands. I would give anything to have one more day with you. There was so much left unsaid, so much I wish I could ask you, but being 15, I didn't think about you dying and not being there. Mothers are suppose to always be there. Even though you had cancer, I just knew you were going to get better, but of course you didn't. You suffered so much. I think back to those days and no matter what, you always had a smile on your face, always thought of others. That was just your personality.
I'll have you know, I've became a coffee-holic just like you. I would love to share my morning cup of coffee with you and just talk. What would our relationship be like? What would you be like? Would your hair be gray? Would you still be happy being a houswife? Would you have liked to work? What were your dreams? I will never have the answers to these and so many more questions. God, how I wish I had one more day, but of course if I was granted that one day, I would want another, and another, because one day would never be enough....
Girl, you ALWAYS make me cry when you write about your mom.. YOu say the sweetest things about her... I know, it's so unfair to have a parent taken away from us at a young age.. I always remember my dad when you blog about your mom because I was young too; 19 years old. My sister was 13. Don't feel sad, she will be with you all day.... :)
ReplyDeleteAunt Ida. I'll never forget the time on Marsden when me and Karen and Jay were making too much noise in the living room and she was asking us to stop and quiet down, but either we were hard headed or just didn't hear her soft spoken voice. I guess she got a little fed up and threw some toilet paper rolls at us and we settled down then. LOL
ReplyDeleteI also remeber after the funeral when we were walking out of the church, Karen and I were holding hands and I she was crying and I told her don't cry Karen your mommy is ok the sun is shining and that means that she is in Heaven. How I knew that so young beats me but I know she would have been proud of all of you and spoiled all of her grandchildren to death!