Monday, January 25, 2010
self portrait taken on my birthday
I am 39 years and 3 days old today. In my 39 years I have...
~lost my mom to cancer when I was 15 - she was 31.
~lived in 3 states, New York, Texas and now North Carolina
~given birth to 4 boys, Samuel, Manuel, Ezekiel and Elijah
~stood before God and said "I do" to the only man who was meant for me, who makes me better
~buried my first born Samuel who was shot and killed at the age of 19
~had many jobs, but none that was truly my passion
~yet to figure out what my purpose is
~will become a Grandma
I feel these are some of the big things that made me who I am today. As I get older, I think back on my life, where I have been and where I'm going. A friend told me it's all down hill from here....half my life is over and if I live to be 80, I guess that's true. And I wonder what difference did I make? Why did God put me in this life? At this point, I can't answer that. I've been doing a lot of soul searching, asking myself a lot of questions, trying to get to the heart and soul of ME and I'm finding it hard. I know this journey of finding myself is not going to be easy, but it's something I must do, especially if half my life is over.