The past couple of days it’s been feeling like fall. The weather has cooled down to low 80’s with no humidity, school is back in session – life is moving on. This has always been my favorite time of year. The summer started out being the worse summer of my life. I never thought I would be burying Samuel. Sometimes I feel I will wake up and this nightmare will be over, but I’m up and it is very real. There are days I’m struggling to keep it together, but it helps having Fonzy and the boys. I know they need me, so I can’t stop living. This is our summer, in pictures.
Samuel's grave the day after his funeral. That is my shadow on the grave.
My brother Junior and I at Samuel's grave. We have on our memory t-shirts Samuel's friends made. Junior and Samuel has just recently started hanging out a lot together, getting close. Junior and I hadn't talked for a while, but this bought us closer together. I think Samuel would of liked that.
My boys - Manuel, Ezekiel, and Elijah - all missing their older brother.
Back at home in NC trying to appreciate the beauty around me.
Trips to the pool where there was a lot of dunking, tossing and splashing....
......and sometimes even blood
but all is well - this is Elijah after busting his lip
I mostly chilled by the pool
Even the ice cream truck came by once. I remember the ice cream truck would come by almost everyday when we were growing up.
We took a trip to Jordan Lake for the day.
Ezekiel didn't want to get his shorts wet, the water was kind of nasty
Of course Elijah could care less
Fonzy wasn't too thrilled to be there, but endured it for us.
Of course my feet shot. I'm hardly ever in the pictures since I'm always taking them. The boys will have tons of memories of my feet....so sad.
We spent some nights watching movies...sometimes scary movies. This is how Elijah watches scary movies, he keeps his head under the covers. And anytime we watch scary movies, we know the boys will be sleeping in our room for the night.
Below is Sunny - Sunny showed up the day we arrived home from Samuel's funeral. I've always loved cats and had them growing up, but Fonzy is allergic and doesn't particually like cats. Everyday Sunny (Fonzy gave her that name) is out on the patio. I told the boys that Sunny was sent by God to comfort me. I go sit on the patio and pet her (not really sure if Sunny is male or female, but I say her) Sunny loves to be petted and is the most loving cat, she shows up everyday. I've given her milk, and worry about what is going to happen to her when the weather starts to get cold. Maybe I can find someone who could take her in.
She sleeps like this all the time, on her back with her paws up
Ezekiel looking at Sunny through the patio screen.
wishing she could come in
I've been looking up into the clouds a lot lately, looking for Samuel, wishing I could see him. I know it's crazy, but I still do it. I believe one day we will be together again, but until then, I will look up into the clouds and think of him in Heaven with my Mom, where she is showering him with enough love for the both of us.