my world

We are on this earth for such a short time. Some of us a lot shorter than others. I think constantly of all the people I've lost in my life. I still find it hard to believe Samuel is gone. When mommy died, I thought I would never know pain like that again. That her dying when I was 16 was certainly the worst thing I would ever have to go through in this life. I was wrong. It's been 1 year, 3 months, and 17 days since Samuel was killed. My world will never be the same. I watch the news with stories of other moms losing their children to senseless violence, and my heart aches for them. I know what's in store for them. Trying to make it day by day, but sometimes all you can do is cry. You think about the baby you carried, the toddler, the kid, the teen and you wonder what their life would have been like if they were still alive. I wonder about Samuel all the time. His birthday is coming up next month and I've been toying with the idea of sending the guy who shot him a birthday card or letter, so he can know it's Samuel's birthday and that because of him, he is not here to celebrate it. Does that sound crazy? I know I have other MOMS who read my blog. What do you think? I don't want him to ever forget what he took from me.

My world will never be the same as it was before May 23, 2009. That day changed my life forever. I miss Samuel so much, but as long as I am on this earth, he will not be forgotten. And I know one day, when I leave this earth, I'll see him again.