Kindergarten, here we come!

Well, that's it...my last baby has started school. No more kids at home. Not like I was sitting at home with them, but still. Elijah has been so ready to go school. He jumped out of bed this morning and started harassing me to hurry, because he needed to get to school and could not be late! (I think he knows we are always late...such bad parents that we are) When Elijah sets his mind to something, he does not play. He was up and ready within 30 minutes. But it was too early to leave so he went nuts for about an hour and bugged the mess out of me...which by the way, he is very good at. It was finally time to go and Elijah could barely contain himself. He was finally going to "big school" with Ezekiel. Let's see how long that lasts. Don't you just wish they could keep this enthusiasm for all of their school years. I say give him a few weeks and he'll be dragging his feet just like all the other kids.

Now what surprised me the most today is when I left him at the school, I got all choked up. I'm not the type of mom to cry because their kid is starting school. I'm usually the mom dancing around, so excited to finally have them in school....but something about Elijah starting school just got to me today. My last baby.....

Here he is before we headed to school

walking into the school

Welcome to Kindergarten!

Is It Worth It?

I suffer from acne...have since my early teenager years. Both of my parent's had acne, so it was a given that I would have it. I HATE IT! I always feel so self conscience when my face is broken out....like everyone is staring at the pimples and are disgusted. I'm disgusted, so why wouldn't anyone else be. I hate taking pictures because of it. Every morning I wake up and hate looking in the mirror. If I could peel my face off, I would! I try to hide it with make-up, but that doesn't work. I have so many scars. I have tried every pimple cream that has ever been made. Clearasil, Oxy, Neurtogena, Pro-activ, mud masks, apricot scrubs, alcohol, salicylic acid(acid....yeah, that should help) The list goes on and on. I have gone to dermatologists and one even stuck needles into the pimples to drain them. Let me tell you....needles being stuck into pimples on your face does not feel good. I have taken antibiotics, had prescription creams.....you name it, I've tried it, except Accutane. Accutane is some serious stuff. The side effects alone are pretty scary.

• Miscarriage and serious birth defects. The most dangerous side effect of retinoid medication is miscarriage, as well as serious birth defects in babies whose mothers took the medication during pregnancy. Women who can get pregnant need to take special precautions so that they do not become pregnant while they are taking retinoid medication. The risk of birth defects and miscarriages goes away about 1 month after the medication is stopped.
• Start to feel sad or have crying spells
• Lose interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Sleep too much or have trouble sleeping
• Become more irritable, angry or aggressive than usual (for example, temper outbursts, thoughts of violence)
• Have a change in your appetite or body weight
• Have trouble concentrating
• Withdrawal from your friends or family
• Feel like you have no energy
• Having feeling of worthlessness or guilt
• Start having thoughts about hurting yourself or taking your own life (suicidal thoughts)
• Start acting on dangerous impulses
• Start seeing or hearing things that are not real

Seeing the side effects I was kind of hesitate to take the medicine. Would I get depressed and start to have suicidal thoughts? Would I go crazy on the boys? I already have very little patience and yell a lot. Would I be worse? Would I start seeing dead people?

When I got home from my Dr. apt, I showed Fonzy a list of the side effects and he asked me was it really worth it? Karen, my sister, (who can understand somewhat how I feel, she has acne, but not as bad as mine) said she will monitoring me for the side effects, and also asked me was it worth it? I have been weighting all of this and asking myself, is clear skin really worth the possible side effects? Is looking in the mirror and being happy with what you see really worth it? Is being able to go out in the world every day with clear skin and not worry about how horrible you look really worth it? Is not feeling self conscience about your face really worth it? You can't hide your face. Is feeling beautiful really worth it?

Only someone who has suffered from acne can truly understand my plight. I go back to the dermatologist on September 12 to start Accutane, so I have a few more weeks to ponder whether or not clear skin is worth the possible side effects....is it?

First Day of School

Well, summer has come to a screeching halt and it is back to school. I know I am not the only mom happy to have their kids back in school. I love my boys, but there is only so much fighting, complaining and mess making a person can take and I have reached my level! Ezekiel is off to 3rd grade today.
Elijah starts Kindergarten this year. They have staggered entry for Kindergarten, so he will go on Thursday, and won't return until next week after the Labor Day holiday. He was so upset he couldn't go to school today, and quite frankly, so was I. Why not start them with all the other kids?

I will be so happy to have us all back on a regular schedule. Fonzy is in his last semester of college. He graduates in December. We both can't wait. He will be busy this last semester and we may not see him that much, but it will all be worth it in the end. He will have his Bachelors degree and will get started on his Master's degree. I am so proud of him! He has worked so hard for this and deserves it. He is going to make the best teacher and one day, the best Principal, along with being the best Daddy and Husband.

Are you ready for some football?

When you live in a house full of football lovin' and playing men, you learn to love the game also. So I am football lovin' momma. Ezekiel and Elijah are playing football for the first time this year. Elijah is playing flag and Ezekiel is playing tackle. Elijah claims flag football is not "real" football, because there are no pads and no tackling! We went to Ezekiel's first practice last week and Elijah was itching to get out there with the big boys. He sat on the sidelines with the football in his lap wishing he was out on the field. He claimed he could do all the exercises and drills they did, but even better. Anyone who knows Elijah, knows he talks a lot of noise! He is 5 and itty-bitty....but to hear him tell it, he is better and can beat anyone in anything. Hmmm, sounds just like his daddy :) To hear Fonzy tell it, he was the best player on all his football teams growing up and he beat up everyone at school. He was "the man". And now Elijah, according to himself, is "the man".

I remember when Samuel and Manuel were little and first started to play football. They were so cute all suited up in their pads and uniforms. Of course like any mother, I was worried about them getting hurt, or being tackled by bigger boys, but they never got seriously hurt....Thank God. And the games were so much fun.

I'm looking forward to Ezekiel and Elijah's football days. The early Saturday morning games, as the weather starts to cool, dad's on the sidelines, yelling advice to their sons and reliving their own glory days out on the field and mom's praying their son's won't get hit too hard when tackled. And even though winning is not everything, we all secretly hope our sons' team wins the game!

Awww, football season!

Are you ready for some football? I am!

Honey Do List

I thought Honey Do lists were for husbands....am I wrong? I guess I am because I got a Honey Do list from Fonzy a couple weeks ago. One day a week I work from home. It just so happened on my work from home day, I get an e-mail with the subject of Honey Do List. Hmmm, did I really want to open that? Of course you know I opened it and this is what it said.....

Hey Love, Here is just a sweet reminder of some of the tasks I hoped you would handle while at home today. (my thoughts: Uh, I am not at home chillin' eating bon-bons and watching soap operas. I am WORKING from home)

1) Clean house- have Manuel vacuum house, Ezekiel vacuum his room, have all boys help you hang up boys clothes (let them work and you monitor- and remember NO YELLING- you are trying to teach them something allow your kind motherly skills to prevail), (my thoughts: are you trying to say I yell all the time, that I am not a kind mother...huh...are you? I may yell sometime, but not ALL the time, dang!)pull all of EZEKIEL'S jean pants in storage container (most will have to be removed from hangers- use those hangers to hang his jean shorts), match-up their short outfits and hang them on appropriate hangers (again show them how to do it and just monitor), make sure Manuel's room and bathroom are clean (inspect it b/c he has been slacking- look behind toilet, etc.), remind Manuel to wash his uniform, have boys clean back porch (sweep), have all boys sweep and clean both garages- ALL balls (including baseballs) need to be put in red net basket or bag under black shelf (Manuel can pull out cars- have them start with far garage), have Manuel hang cross on wall where computer is at (middle is fine- he may need to put a nail at bottom to make it stay straight), put table back and have boys wipe it off good.

2) Check on the registration card for the Mazada- price and how to get it.

3) Vacuum truck(after they clean garage)- Manuel can pull truck into garage and have boys help him clean it out and vacuum it. Remind him that he doesn't like it when people yell at him so encourage boys and let them know that I will deal with them if they do not help- at any rate there is to be NO FIGHTING!!! (my thoughts: laughing hysterically...hahaha! No fighting...hahahahaha....)

4) Have boys (E & E) straighten out my closet match-up shoes; put DRESS or BLACK socks, drawls, hoopin' or bullcorn shorts and t-shirts, and towels in laundry room dirty clothes. Only white clothes should be left on floor, dress clothes and others should be put in my hamper. If you don't whether it's clean or dirty- treat it as dirty. Have them line my shoes up on walls near fan behind the closet door.

5) If they do good, reward them! If they have a strong reasonable desire- call me and I'll pick it up. That means no fighting and everything done in 2-3 hours!! Set timer!! And for you my love..... a good rub down and something else small that you would like - talk to me!
(my thoughts: the diamond journey necklace I have been hinting at is small....)

6) Print this out and have boys check off each tack as they complete them.

Love you- gotta go, see you when I see you!

Your faithful and ever-loving husband,

Ice anyone?

How about our ice maker broke in one of the hottest weeks of the summer. It has been a hot, humid, sticky 101 degrees all week. And we have no ice. Well, let me rephrase that. I have the old fashioned ice trays that you have to keep filling up with water to get your ice. GASP...who wants to do that! So I called the apartment complex to come and fix the ice machine and as I was talking to the rep, I realized how spoiled I am. I am calling to complain about having no ice. How trivial is that? It really had me thinking. Have I become so spoiled(cough...cough) lazy that I can't fill up ice trays with water. Am I so spoiled that when I want a nice, cold glass of ice tea, all I want to do is open the freezer and grab ice from the bin, and not worry about filling up trays. What is wrong with me? Has it really come to that? That is really sad...unfortunately it didn't stop me from placing my work order, because it is one of the hottest weeks this summer and I need some ice tea!

Thoughts of a baby girl

We (Fonzy, Ezekiel, Elijah, and I) were at the pool this afternoon and there was the cutest baby girl down there with her grandma. While in the pool I kept glancing at her and I found myself longing for another baby....a baby girl that is. Now anyone who knows me in real life probably can't believe I thought that, let alone writing it now. They are probably thinking....this is the same person who said, "I don't like kids, I only like mine because they are mine. " Yes, I did say that, but don't get me wrong. I love my boys with all my heart. But I'm just not a kid person, or so I always thought. That is why I got my tubes tied after Elijah...a decision I think I'm regretting now. Fonzy wanted one more baby, but I felt I just couldn't do it. But now...I wish I could give him another baby. We both would love a little girl to spoil. And spoiled she would be! We would have a beautiful little girl. I know we would. She would have curly black hair, and a beautiful cafe au lait complexion. She would be Daddy's Little Girl and have Fonzy wrapped around her little finger. I have thought about getting my tubes untied, but I'm sure that is expensive and there's no guarantee I would have a girl. We've talked about adopting. There are so many kids out there who need a loving family/home and I know we could provide that. I just wish I hadn't been so hasty in my decision to get my tubes tied...then maybe I wouldn't be longing for a baby girl, I'd have one.

HTML/Getting Old

I have been trying my hardest to learn this HTML stuff to spruce up my blog and it is driving me crazy! I think I have every book from the library on HTML format and it's like reading Chinese or something. I think I need to take a class or maybe get a new brain....or maybe I'm just too old to learn new things.

sigh...40 is right around the corner. 40! I can't believe I am going to be 40 in about 3 years!!!! Where has all the time gone? Seems just like yesterday, I was in my 20's and thought I would never be old. I'm almost middled aged. Is 40 considered middle aged? OK...no more talk of age...I'm feelin' like an old hag....an almost 40 old hag.