Friday, July 11, 2008

I can only imagine

I'm working from home today, which means I'm doing two jobs at once, I'm doing the job I'm paid for and then the job I'm not paid for, cleaning house, doing laundry, etc. I tell myself each week, I'm not going to spend my work from home day, doing two jobs, it gets too hectic, but another Friday, and here I am cleaning and working. But I got side tracked, I was not posting about work. While I was sitting at the computer, scheduling meeting, etc. I check out blogs I read. I came across one that has a playlist and the song playing was "I can only imagine" by Mercyme. I know it's a popular song/group, but had never heard it. I normally have my computer muted and if I don't and hear a songlist playing on a blog, I turn the volume off, but for some reason I didn't this time. I think it was the piano in the beginning that got me. I liked the way it sounded. Listening to the words I got chills. I've been a Christian for a long time, but have not always been faithful. I've been struggling lately, but want a closer relationship with Jesus. This song was talking about finally getting to see Jesus, and how we will feel. I want Him to say "well done, my good and faithful servant" and right now, He would not. With tears in my eyes, listening to this song and thinking about my life, I heard a small voice in my head tell me, "No matter what, my daughter, I love you and I'm here." I have tears in my eyes just typing that. I know that was Jesus telling me He is here and loves me, even when I'm unfaithful. I can hardly type with the tears in my eyes. I have chills and I know it's Him, letting me know He is here. Life is a struggle and we get tied up with the day to day and push Jesus to the side. I don't want to do that anymore. I want Him to be my main focus. I want my life to be for Him. I know I have a lot of changing to do, but like the Bible says:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

And I can.

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