I am not my hair

I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your ex-pec-tations no

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am a soul that lives within

That is what I was singing as I waited to get my hair cut. I had to wait a while and was tempeted to walk out, but a co-worker went with me and kept me there. I haven't had short hair in over 17yrs, and debated on whether to get my hair cut, but I haven't been able to do anything with it. I always have it in a ponytail and I wasn't feeling it anymore. Plus Fonzy has been wanting me to get my hair cut for a few years now. So I finally took the plunge and did it. I had to keep repeating, "it's just hair, it's just hair, it will grow back", and now that I've cut it, I like it!

Juan's Pepper Patch

It's not very often we have family come and stay with us. I have Karen and Jay here with me, but most of Fonzy's family is in TX. This past weekend Juan and Becky, Fonzy's cousins were here in NC for a soccer tournament, so that gave us some time with them. We did our usual, BBQ out at the pool and just enjoyed each other's company. I really look up to Juan and Becky. They have been together since high school and from spending time with them, they are still in love. It's great to see marriages like that, it proves that marriages can last, you just have to work at it.

Juan and Becky....look at how she is smiling at him, all in love

now look at Sam, looking at Maddie like she has cooties. I'm not feeling the love at all!

Sam: "I guess I'll take a picture, but I wont' touch her!"

the boys - I stay surrounded by boys

And this is Juan's pepper patch. Our apartment community has landscaping, and often they change out the flowers. When they changed the flowers last time, they put in these peppers. They are very colorful, although I thought it was strange to have peppers as landscaping. I figured it was just decorative peppers...what do I know. Well, walking back from the pool Juan noticed the peppers and started picking some to eat with dinner. Fonzy told him he didn't think they were for eating, but Juan thought otherwise. According to Juan, they tasted pretty good! We warned Becky that if Juan got sick all of a sudden, she would know why......blame it on the peppers!

Finally!

We finally made it to the beach today! We've been trying to go to the beach for the past 3 weekends, but every time I would check the weather, it was predicting rain. Finally this weekend, weather.com said it was going to be in the 90's and sunny......NO RAIN! We couldn't ask for a better day. We got up bright and early, loaded up the truck and off we went. I think I was more excited than the kids. I could spend all my time at the beach. Once we got to the beach, it took us over 30 minutes to find a parking space. We finally found a spot, and got all our stuff out, cooler, which was heavy as I don't know what. It was big enough for dead body, and carrying it to the beach, it felt like we had a dead body in it. Fonzy and I carried the cooler, the boys carried towels, blanket and sand toys. We finally made it to the beach, laid out our blanket and hit the water. It was gorgeous! The water was warm, the waves were big and the sun was shinning............for about an hour and half. Then the clouds rolled in, the thunder pounded and lightening struck! On the day weather.com said was going to be PERFECT, NO RAIN! I could not believe it. Fonzy went to move the truck closer, while the boys and I packed up all our stuff. By the time Fonzy got backed, it had started to rain. We all got soaked, luckily it was a warm rain. We decided to sit out the storm in the truck, we ate our lunch and waited for the rain to stop, which it did, about an hour later. The sun came from behind the clouds and we were back on the beach. It lasted all of about an hour and the rain came back again! I guess it wasn't meant for me to be at the beach. We got rained on twice. I swear, we should of went these past weekends when weather.com predicted rain, because I betcha you anything, it didn't rain then!

Me, ready to hit the beach....see it was nice and sunny when we hit the road

In the car, ready to go....only Zay posed for the picture, Ezekiel and Elijah were too busy watching a DVD

Wrightsville Beach, here we come...see sunny.

Finally! At the beach!

Look at Ezekiel's face.......PRICELESS! Seagulls were flying close by and he thought they were going to get him.....he is so scary!

then the storm clouds rolled in.....that is Fonzy going to move the car closer so we could pack up

the boys posing after we packed up everything, waiting for Fonzy to get back.

back at the beach after the passing storm

on the way home, once the rain started again :(

Grills, not just for BBQ

I have never understood the purpose of grills. No, not the grills you BBQ on, the grills you wear in your mouth. Those have got to be the nastiest things. I hate to see grown men, or anyone for that matter with that mess in their mouth. I just don't understand why anyone would want to wear them....it's just nasty. Well, Mina decided to send Zay a surprise in the mail. Want to know what the surprise was???? Grills for him and the boys. The boys were too happy. They put on their "bling" and started posing for pictures. Just wait until they all get older, I'm bringing out these pictures.....I'm sure they'll be laughing at themselves for this mess.

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longing for....

warm salty water

the sound of crashing waves

sand between my toes

watching seagulls soar

the sun bronzing my skin

warm breezes

A little bit of culture

We've been trying to go to the beach for the past two weekends, but due to rain it hasn't happened. The boys complaining that it's not raining here...they fail to understand just because it's not raining here, does not mean it's not raining at the coast, 2 hrs away. They claim we just don't want to go to the beach. Little do they do, I probably want to go worse then them! I'm hoping next weekend we will finally be at the beach, enjoying the waves, sand and salty air.

Since the beach trip was cancelled AGAIN, we decided to take the boys to the museum....nothing like a little education and culture. In between the complaining of being bored, not wanting to see just pictures or read anything, we had a good time. As long as there are dinosaurs and snakes the boys are alright.

(click to enlarge)

After the museum, we headed to Baskin Robins for their wonderful 31 flavors and lucky me, they had my favorite.........chocolate peanut butter.

YUM!

New Life

I have ferns hanging up on my patio. I had two, but during a week of 100 degree weather, one of them died. I would water them, but for some reason the plant wasn't getting the water. I had noticed birds in my ferns, so I decided to check the plant and discovered a nest. One of my ferns held on, even though it had two nests in it. This morning while working I heard the birds chirping like crazy! I went to see what was up and as I opened the sliding door, I saw a bird fly out the fern into the tree. I looked in the tree and saw a cardinal and the other bird that had just flown from my fern. I've been noticing the cardinal the past few weeks. He's been kinda hanging around. I decided to stand on one of the Adirondack chairs on my patio to get a better look at the fern. Of course I had my camera ready. The cardinal and the other bird sat in the tree just watching me. In my fern were baby birds! I zoomed in and took a few pictures. The parents, whom I'm assuming is the cardinal and other little bird was flying from limb to limb watching me. I decided to snap a few more pictures and leave them alone. As soon as I came back in, the little bird flew back to nest and the chirping began again.

Daddy's Little Girl

There's nothing quite like the relationship between a girl and her father. Growing up, I didn't have a close relationship with Daddy. I yearned for one, but it just never happened. I know now he loved me the best way he could, but I sometimes wanted more. I wanted to be able to share things with him...my thoughts.....my fears. But we never really talked. I use to envy girls who had a close relationship with their dad. Who could go up to their dad, hug him and tell him she loved him. I don't ever recall doing that. Maybe it was me. Maybe if I had taken the first step, we could of had that sort of relationship. Unfortunately, I will never know. I sometimes wondered if I had been his biological daughter, would our relationship had been different. Growing up, I didn't have any memories of my biological dad. My parents slit when I was about 3 or 4 I guess...I'm not really sure. Mommy never talked about him, I never saw a picture, didn't even know his name, until after Mommy died. That's when he called me, told me he loved me and if I ever needed him, he was there. Even though Daddy had wanted to adopt me, Dad said he would never let that happen, because he felt one day I would need him and I did. About 7 months after Mommy died, I went to live with Dad in Texas. He had driven all the way from Texas to NY to pick me up. I remember when I first saw him, I was just in awe thinking this was MY dad. On that long ride to Texas, I often wondered if I did the right thing. I had never met this man, at least that I could recall and I was moving from my family, my home, everyone I knew to live with strangers.

One of my most vivid memories of our trip back to Texas was Dad's tattoo. I recall riding in the front seat with him, and noticing a tattoo on his bicep. The tattoo was a drawing of me, with my name underneath it. My dad had a tattoo of ME on his arm! I can't recall exactly what he said about it, something to the effect that even though he was not in my life while I was growing up, he loved me and thought about me everyday. I don't know why my mom and him split up. I've never asked him. Not really sure why it was decided it was best that he not keep in contact me. What I do know, is I'm glad I have my dad in my life. I'm not always the best daughter, I don't call as often as I should, but I love my dad none the less. I think I'm too old to be called Daddy's little girl, but the last time I visited him, we were sitting on the couch and I laid my head on his lap and fell asleep and at that moment, I finally felt a little taste of what being Daddy's little girl felt like....