Kindergarten, here we come!

Well, that's it...my last baby has started school. No more kids at home. Not like I was sitting at home with them, but still. Elijah has been so ready to go school. He jumped out of bed this morning and started harassing me to hurry, because he needed to get to school and could not be late! (I think he knows we are always late...such bad parents that we are) When Elijah sets his mind to something, he does not play. He was up and ready within 30 minutes. But it was too early to leave so he went nuts for about an hour and bugged the mess out of me...which by the way, he is very good at. It was finally time to go and Elijah could barely contain himself. He was finally going to "big school" with Ezekiel. Let's see how long that lasts. Don't you just wish they could keep this enthusiasm for all of their school years. I say give him a few weeks and he'll be dragging his feet just like all the other kids.

Now what surprised me the most today is when I left him at the school, I got all choked up. I'm not the type of mom to cry because their kid is starting school. I'm usually the mom dancing around, so excited to finally have them in school....but something about Elijah starting school just got to me today. My last baby.....

Here he is before we headed to school

walking into the school

Welcome to Kindergarten!

Is It Worth It?

I suffer from acne...have since my early teenager years. Both of my parent's had acne, so it was a given that I would have it. I HATE IT! I always feel so self conscience when my face is broken out....like everyone is staring at the pimples and are disgusted. I'm disgusted, so why wouldn't anyone else be. I hate taking pictures because of it. Every morning I wake up and hate looking in the mirror. If I could peel my face off, I would! I try to hide it with make-up, but that doesn't work. I have so many scars. I have tried every pimple cream that has ever been made. Clearasil, Oxy, Neurtogena, Pro-activ, mud masks, apricot scrubs, alcohol, salicylic acid(acid....yeah, that should help) The list goes on and on. I have gone to dermatologists and one even stuck needles into the pimples to drain them. Let me tell you....needles being stuck into pimples on your face does not feel good. I have taken antibiotics, had prescription creams.....you name it, I've tried it, except Accutane. Accutane is some serious stuff. The side effects alone are pretty scary.

• Miscarriage and serious birth defects. The most dangerous side effect of retinoid medication is miscarriage, as well as serious birth defects in babies whose mothers took the medication during pregnancy. Women who can get pregnant need to take special precautions so that they do not become pregnant while they are taking retinoid medication. The risk of birth defects and miscarriages goes away about 1 month after the medication is stopped.
• Start to feel sad or have crying spells
• Lose interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Sleep too much or have trouble sleeping
• Become more irritable, angry or aggressive than usual (for example, temper outbursts, thoughts of violence)
• Have a change in your appetite or body weight
• Have trouble concentrating
• Withdrawal from your friends or family
• Feel like you have no energy
• Having feeling of worthlessness or guilt
• Start having thoughts about hurting yourself or taking your own life (suicidal thoughts)
• Start acting on dangerous impulses
• Start seeing or hearing things that are not real

Seeing the side effects I was kind of hesitate to take the medicine. Would I get depressed and start to have suicidal thoughts? Would I go crazy on the boys? I already have very little patience and yell a lot. Would I be worse? Would I start seeing dead people?

When I got home from my Dr. apt, I showed Fonzy a list of the side effects and he asked me was it really worth it? Karen, my sister, (who can understand somewhat how I feel, she has acne, but not as bad as mine) said she will monitoring me for the side effects, and also asked me was it worth it? I have been weighting all of this and asking myself, is clear skin really worth the possible side effects? Is looking in the mirror and being happy with what you see really worth it? Is being able to go out in the world every day with clear skin and not worry about how horrible you look really worth it? Is not feeling self conscience about your face really worth it? You can't hide your face. Is feeling beautiful really worth it?

Only someone who has suffered from acne can truly understand my plight. I go back to the dermatologist on September 12 to start Accutane, so I have a few more weeks to ponder whether or not clear skin is worth the possible side effects....is it?

First Day of School

Well, summer has come to a screeching halt and it is back to school. I know I am not the only mom happy to have their kids back in school. I love my boys, but there is only so much fighting, complaining and mess making a person can take and I have reached my level! Ezekiel is off to 3rd grade today.
Elijah starts Kindergarten this year. They have staggered entry for Kindergarten, so he will go on Thursday, and won't return until next week after the Labor Day holiday. He was so upset he couldn't go to school today, and quite frankly, so was I. Why not start them with all the other kids?

I will be so happy to have us all back on a regular schedule. Fonzy is in his last semester of college. He graduates in December. We both can't wait. He will be busy this last semester and we may not see him that much, but it will all be worth it in the end. He will have his Bachelors degree and will get started on his Master's degree. I am so proud of him! He has worked so hard for this and deserves it. He is going to make the best teacher and one day, the best Principal, along with being the best Daddy and Husband.