Yep...that's me, the worst housekeeper ever! You would not believe the mess that is our bedroom, which is pretty sad considering we make the boys clean their room every night before going to bed. We are not setting a very good example. I could use the excuse that I'm a working mom, and don't have time to clean, but that really isn't an excuse. There are other working moms who's homes are spotless, cook a healthly dinner each night, read their kids bedtime stories and even make wild, passionate love to thier husbands. How do they do it all! By the time I get home from work, I am ready for a nap! Luckily it's summertime and Manuel likes to BBQ, because if it wasn't for him, we would be eating PB&J or bologna sandwiches. I really need to get my butt in gear. If my mom were still alive, she would beat my butt! I was raised to keep a clean house. Our house was never dirty. Of course my mom was a stay-at-home mom, but I am sure if she worked, our house still would of been clean. I use to keep a clean house, but the past year or so, I've been a slacker. Could it be because I'm getting older, or just lazy. Don't answer that. I'm already know the answer. I feel like a kid, (instead of the 36 year old wife and mother to four boys I am) who's mom is yelling "Clean your room!" Maybe I feel that way because my mom is sending me that message. Mommy, I'm listening...I will clean my room when I get home today.
I have at least 3 drafts sitting in my post section waiting for me to hit publish. The question is, why haven't I published them yet? Could it be the procrastinator in me or maybe I'm just hesitate to publish my thoughts. That was the whole purpose of this blog, right? To put my thoughts down, to share my life with family, friends and I guess strangers too. I really don't care if anyone reads or what they think, or do I? Hmmm, could that be the reason I haven't hit the publish button, because deep down, I'm concerned of what people will think??? Why should I care what people think, right? This is my life and no matter how boring or exciting it is, it's mine! All the joys, the heartaches, the drama, whatever it is....and I only have one life, so why not document it for my boys and maybe one day my grandkids, great grandkids, and so on to have. When they no longer have me, they will have my thoughts, my words...a little piece of me. Something I wish I had of my own mom....
I don't know how to express what I'm feelin' right now. I can't believe you're gone. There are so many things I wanted to say...so many things I wanted to tell you, but never did. And now it is too late. Daddy, even though you were not my biological dad, you were always daddy to me. I always longed for a close father/daughter relationship, but it just never seemed to happen. I know growing up I always felt like you didn't love me. But now that I am an adult, I see how you did love me, but maybe just didn't know how to show it. I know the strain of mommy being sick while we were still so young must of been hard for you. I'm sure at times you didn't know what you were going to do. I can only imagine how you felt once she died and you had the responsibility of raising three kids. I wish I had gotten up the courage to tell you that no matter what our differences were and that even though I left, I still loved you and appreciated the childhood you gave me. Of course it took me many years to see it and I hate that now I'm saying coulda, shoulda, woulda, when I should of just told you I loved you when you were here to hear it........
Yep...that's me, the worst housekeeper ever! You would not believe the mess that is our bedroom, which is pretty sad considering we make the boys clean their room every night before going to bed. We are not setting a very good example. I could use the excuse that I'm a working mom, and don't have time to clean, but that really isn't an excuse. There are other working moms who's homes are spotless, cook a healthly dinner each night, read their kids bedtime stories and even make wild, passionate love to thier husbands. How do they do it all! By the time I get home from work, I am ready for a nap! Luckily it's summertime and Manuel likes to BBQ, because if it wasn't for him, we would be eating PB&J or bologna sandwiches. I really need to get my butt in gear. If my mom were still alive, she would beat my butt! I was raised to keep a clean house. Our house was never dirty. Of course my mom was a stay-at-home mom, but I am sure if she worked, our house still would of been clean. I use to keep a clean house, but the past year or so, I've been a slacker. Could it be because I'm getting older, or just lazy. Don't answer that. I'm already know the answer. I feel like a kid, (instead of the 36 year old wife and mother to four boys I am) who's mom is yelling "Clean your room!" Maybe I feel that way because my mom is sending me that message. 