Monday, May 12, 2014

Shadow

shadowme
I've started this post as least a dozen times and not even sure this one will make it to post.  So another 365 project has met it's death. And I will not be trying it again. I found myself snapping a picture just for the sake of getting a picture a day and I wasn't liking it. I've tried to come back to this blog several times, but something wasn't right. I couldn't find the words, the thoughts didn't flow like they use to. I was trying so hard to write, that it stopped me from writing. Funny how that works, huh.

I still want to blog, but I think I'm going about it the wrong way. This use to be a space that I bared my soul, whatever I was feeling or thinking I would just put it down. Didn't matter if anyone was reading. I did it for me. Over time, it became not for me. I found myself writing to have the perfect post. It was no longer about me. It was about what everyone else wanted. Or what I thought everyone else wanted to see. The part that was ME was gone. I no longer liked blogging. And my sporadic posts showed it.

I've decided to take my blog back. Back to me. Back to my thoughts, my feelings, my life. And not worry about who's reading, or if it will gain more readers, or trying to fit in a blog mold. When I look back on this blog, and when my boys, and even grand kids find this space, I want it to be a true representation of me, not just a shadow of who I was or who I thought everyone wanted me to be. Just ME, in my truest form possible.

2 comments:

Beautifulone71 said...

Good for you Saida.

Crystal Holeman said...

Very nice read.. i think you should go back to blogging and just be you..