Letter to Samuel

Everyone has gone to sleep, and I sit here, crying, wishing I could turn back time. Tomorrow will be a month and it feels just like yesterday. How I wish I could pick up the phone and call you. Listen to all your dreams, hear your laugh. I try to hold on to the good memories, but your death keeps playing over and over in my mind. It's like a movie that never stops.

When I fall asleep at night, I pray to see you in my dreams, but you have not come. When Mommy died, she use to come to me in dreams. Will you? I know a few days before you died, you said Mommy, your Grandmom had come to you in a dream, but you couldn't understand what she was saying to you. You said you had never dreamt about her before. I told you how Mommy use to come to me in dreams. After your death, this conversation came to my mind, and I wondered if maybe Mommy was telling you that she was going to meet you soon, and would be waiting in Heaven for you with open arms. In hard times like tonight, I hold on to that. To Mommy loving you for me. I know you are in a better place, I know this in my head, but that doesn't help my heart.

I am heading to bed now and I hope to see you in my dreams....please come to me.....