Missing my family

I was searching through the hundreds of pictures I have on my computer and realized I never did anything with the pictures I took during Ma's funeral. In a few months it will be a year since she passed...where has the time gone! I started this blog to keep up with my family, especially Mommy's side of the family. It is such a shame that it had been YEARS since the last time we had all gotten together before Ma's death. For some of my family, I hadn't seen them since I was a teen-ager. That is so sad. To lose touch with your own family. I can see losing touch with friends, but not family. If mommy's death taught us anything it was life is too short. We need to cherish the time we have and let our family know we love them. I miss my uncles, cousins and of course my beautiful Auntie who everyone claims I look like. If only I were so lucky! Love ya Aunt Elba. I often think back to growing up in Dunkirk/Jamestown and all the fun we cousins had. And having mommy there with us and I get so sad, because it seems I really don't know my family anymore. And now with Ma gone, it's even worse. When I took all these pictures I promised to stay in touch with everyone and a year is right around the corner and I have not kept that promise. Family, life is soo short and I so wish we could get together more often, and not just during the sad times. It shouldn't take someone dying for us to get together or to even call, e-mail, send a card, something. So I am doing my part with this post. I am sending my blog address to all the family I have e-mail addresses to keep you updated with what is going on in my world and maybe, just maybe you all will find the time to reach out to the rest of the family. I know life get's busy and we get tied up with the day to day. I'm guilty...but I'm making this promise here and now to try and do better. I love you all and miss you all soooo much!

Why blog........

...because it is cheaper than therapy and a way to keep in touch with friends and family. Plus...I'm about to embark on a new adventure. As of March 30, I will no longer be employed! Yep, stay at home mommydom...here I come! Now in the past I have never wanted to be a SAHM, but I am looking forward to this new role. Maybe it's because I'm older...I don't know. The last time I wasn't working, I was home for about 6 months and I was going out of my mind. I think it had alot to do with being stuck in a small town house with 4 boys and no transportation, since we only had one vehicle at the time. This time will be different, first because my whole attitude is different and second I won't be stuck in the house without transportation. I am looking forward to this time. I plan on getting more involved in my boys schools, and spending more time with them. I have 4 great boys, and feel I need to be there for them. I kinda think that is why God has placed me in this situation yet again. To cherish the time with my boys and be the mom and wife I ought to be. I don't know what is in store for me or our little family, but whatever it is, I am ready........

These boots were made for walkin'.....

..........but the shoes I'm wearing right now, were NOT! Why must all the sexy heels hurt your feet!!! And why do I insist on wearing them, knowing my feet are going to be cussing me out later on????? I knew when I pulled these shoes out of the closet they were going to hurt my feet, but I wanted to be cute, so who cares if my feet hurt, right. No pain, no gain. Why do we women do this! I know I am not the only one! Come on ladies.....I know you have seen women limping to their cars by the end of the work day or church, or where ever. I myself have limped to my car after work and have driven home bare foot! How silly is that! My boys have even asked me why I wear the shoes if they hurt my feet. Well, they are boys, they don't understand! Women love cute shoes, and it doesn't matter if they hurt our feet, we are going to wear them! While writing this I am shaking my head, because come tomorrow or the next day that I'm feelin' sexy, I will pull out the torture chamber, which are my shoes and walk/limp my sexy self on......and hope that later on that evening I can get hubby to massage my feet...

Gone Fishin'

Today was a beautiful day....a day for fishin'. The boys have been bugging me to take them fishing. The weather is starting to get nice and they are ready to get out of the house, so after church today, we went fishing. Unfortunately, Manuel wasn't allowed to go. He continues to make poor decisions. I just don't know what to do anymore! I get so frustrated at times. I know as a teenage boy he is going to make some dumb decisions, but not the same ones over and over again! We just can't seem to get it through his head that he is 16 and the decisions he's making now are going to be with him for the rest of his life! Of course, when I was 16, I didn't want to hear that. At 16, you think you know it all, when in essence you know nothing! I think both Samuel and Manuel are in for a rude awakening. They think life is so easy and they are going to have all this money and fame. Life is not easy! It's tough out here. When they were little, I couldn't wait for them to grow up. I didn't spend the quality time I should have with them. Now I wish for that time back. I know it's never too late to spend time with them or is it? I guess only time will tell. But from this day forward I plan on using my time more wisely and spend a little more time enjoying all my boys....playing, talkin', lovin' and fishin'!

Happy Birthday Mommy

Happy Birthday Mommy! If you were still here with us you would be 52.....still so young. I can't believe it's been 21 years since you left us. Sometimes it feels just like yesterday....at times I still cry for you. I have so many precious memories...but I hate to admit, I can't remember the sound of your laughter. I can barely remember what your voice sounded like. I wonder if I didn't have pictures, would I forget your face? I know you are in a better place and suffering no more, but sometimes I wish you were still here. There are times I long to talk to you, to tell you all my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I want to know you as an adult, not the child I was when you passed. What would you be like now? What would I be like. When you died, my whole life changed...almost 16 and without you. I felt so lost and confused. I remember praying to God to heal you from all the pain and suffering of the cancer, but then telling Him if He wasn't going to heal you, then take you home, and that is what He did. He took you home to be with Him. I know when my time is up I will see you again in Heaven....until then I will cherish all my precious memories of you and the time we had......

The men in my life....

As a teenager I was boy crazy...now I have four sons and a husband.....5 men in my life. Do you think God has a sense of humor?