Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Seasons

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I love that we live in a place with all four seasons. Just about the time you get tired of one season, the next one rolls in. As each season changes, I find myself heading out to capture the uniqueness that is each season. When I took these pictures, the leaves were just emerging. Now, two weeks later all is lush and green again.

I've been thinking a lot about seasons...specifically seasons in a life. A couple weekends ago the boys asked to watch our old home videos. We have video of both the boys being born, a few Christmas's and other random videos. To see them as babies again, my heart ached. I said several times I wished I could go back. Do it all again. I feel I rushed their childhoods and missed so much. At times, I didn't even recognize the person I was in the videos. I feel I've changed a lot since then. I've grown, and feel more confident in who I am. I know I struggled a lot back then with self esteem. I never felt enough. I felt I was always lacking. And maybe that's why in several of the videos I wasn't smiling. Oh....to go back as the person I am today. I truly believe I would cherish it, hold all the moments a little tighter. Cuddle and love on those babies longer and know that I was enough for them. My love was enough for them. But I cannot. That season has passed, and all I have are my memories and videos of a younger, unsmiling me. The me now, would go back to the me than and shake her!!

"Smile dang it!! These are some of your best times! You have a a good life, people who love you and beautiful babies. One day you are going to look back and wish you could have this again!" 

The season I'm in now...it's a good season too. I find myself holding on tighter, wishing time would slow down....knowing that it won't. Each season has it's time, and whether I like it or not...this season will soon pass too.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I'm late with commenting but this post resonates with me too. I think we all go thru this. I, too, was the same way. I felt as tho I rushed my son to grow up so fast and look at him now, he's 19! How did that happen? Time to just go with the flow and always feel young. Let's make that promise to ourselves. :)