Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
I wanted a white Christmas. It started snowing Christmas night and we woke up to a winter wonderland.
Elijah and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and it reminded me of being home in NY.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Elijah woke me up at 2:30am asking if Santa had came yet. Half asleep, I told him to go back to bed until morning...around 7am. 6am Elijah comes back. He was probably sitting up the whole time waiting for 7am, but couldn't take it any longer. I told him to wait until 7, while Fonzy and I tried to get a little more sleep...didn't work. I got up at 6:30am because I remember when I was little and couln't wait to see what Santa had left. Santa got most of what they wanted, and they were happy.
That's all we want Christmas morning...happy kids and a big cup of strong coffee! Too bad Santa didn't think to brew the coffee before he left!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Ezekiel had his first band concert tonight, playing the trumpet. Unfortunately, where we were sitting we couldn't see him. I like to think I could hear him blowing his horn. In reality, I'm sure I didn't.
I remember my clarinet days. The practicing, the concerts - wishing I was playing the flute instead of a clarinet. When I picked the clarinet, I thought I was picking a flute. That's how little I knew about music and instruments. I played the clarinet for one year and quit. I hope Ezekiel sticks with the trumpet or another instrument. Life shouldn't be all about sports.
The obligatory picture after the concert.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
What do you do when the night light goes out and you have no more bulbs to replace it? And you have a kid who REFUSES to sleep without one?
You grab Christmas lights of course! And blinking ones at that! You then become the BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
The boys decide they want to sleep in the same room again and even ask you for a kiss goodnight! A kiss goodnight!
I can't remember the last time they wanted a kiss goodnight....and all because of blinking Christmas lights. I think I'll let them keep the lights until after Christmas. Maybe I can be the best Mom in the whole world for a little bit longer!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
So happy it's the weekend and closer to the holiday break! 2 work days next week and I am off for almost 2wks! 2wks people! I'm looking forward to....
~lazy mornings in bed with Fonzy
~naps in the afternoon if we like
~family time at home
~no schedule and no rushing to be anywhere
Thursday, December 16, 2010
We got a snow day today, with hardly any snow. Really, it was mostly ice, but I'm not complaining. I get to work from home in my pj's, and catch up on some Christmas knitting. I had grand plans of several monsters being shipped off to kids of my friends to open on Christmas morning. Unfortunately, it didn't happen. I still plan on knitting the monsters, they'll just arrive after Christmas. Which, as I think about it, might be better. They won't get lost in all the hoopla of Christmas morning.
As I sit and type this, the fireplace is going, I'm wrapped nice and warm in a blanket on the couch, with Ezekiel and knitting at my side. Elijah is upstairs making LOTS of noise playing basketball, while Fonzy lays snoring on the couch. At this very moment, I'm content.
Nothing like a lazy snow day, even if there isn't any snow on the ground.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
With all the, sparkle, lights and decorations during this time of year, these are my favorites. The ornaments the boys have made through the years. Since Ezekiel is in middle school he probably won't be making ornaments anymore. Elijah may have a few years left. The time just goes by so fast! I know this is said all the time, but it's so true. One day you are drowing in diapers and bottles, then the next day you look up and they are having babies of their own! I still can't believe Manuel is a daddy! How can I be a grandma? I don't feel like a grandma. At least not today. Ask me on another day, and I might have a different answer!
Can I just say I'm ready for this holiday break. I think I've said it in earlier post, but I'm saying it again! I need a break! A much needed break. Can it be next Tuesday already???
Monday, December 13, 2010
I was up at 4:30am today. Not really sure why, just couldn't sleep. I remember dreaming about yarn, and then just waking up. I must really be knitting a lot to dream about yarn.
I'm so ready for the Christmas break. It's been so cold lately, all I want to do is stay home in pj's knitting in front of the fire, drinking hot chocolate. Add some snow and it would be perfect!
Every year I say this, but will say it again. I really miss the snow during the holidays. I'm always dreaming of a white Christmas, and it's probably not gonna happen here in NC. It's true what they say, you never miss something until it's gone. I hated the snow living in NY, but now I get just as excited as the kids when we get snow. I'm going to keep wishing for my white Christmas. Maybe one year I'll get it.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
I've been meaning to post this for a while, but never got around to it until now. I have a co-worker who is the sweetest thing. Love you Terrel! On Samuel's birthday in October Terrel gave this to me. The pictures do not do this justice. It is BEAUTIFUL! With the waterball came a note, that was signed, "Your back-up plan"
Back-up plan you ask? Here's why....
When I first came back to work after Samuel died, I had some rough days. I'd be at work, see his picture on my desk and the tears would start to fall. I sit in a cube and didn't want everyone to see me crying, so I'd call Karen (my sister) who works with me and we would go outside and walk around the parking lot until I could pull myself together. Well, one day I was having a rough time and Karen wasn't here. Terrel came by to see me and I told her how Karen would go outside with me, until I could pull myself together. She then said she would be my back-up plan. Whenever I was missing Samuel and having a tough time I could call her and she would be there for me - my back-up plan.
Terrel - I can't thank you enough for always being there for me and remembering Samuel on his birthday even though you didn't know him. It means more to me than you could ever know.
I love you girl and I'm so happy to have you as my back-up plan!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I'm so glad I started knitting again. Knitting these monsters were so much fun and I have many more to do. I know to some, it may seem strange - knitting monsters? What can you do with a monster? You can't wear it, doesn't keep you warm. At least if you knit a sweater, scarf, socks, etc it can keep you warm. What can a monster do?
My answer - make me SMILE!
Elijah and I were messing around the other day after school taking pictures. Since Ezekiel is in middle school now, he's at work with Fonzy and with basketball season they normally don't get home until after 7pm, so it's just me and Elijah. I've been thinking of things we can do together, besides homework and the normal day to day. We've been watching Christmas movies we've DVR'd, but I'm thinking a few photo sessions are in order, while he still let's me take pictures of him.
Monday, December 6, 2010
I swear I am knitting the never ending scarf!
I planned on knitting this scarf and a hat as a gift for a holiday get together the ladies at our church is having on Saturday, but the way this scarf is going, this may be it for the gift!
Once this scarf is done, I don't plan on knitting another one for a long time. At least that's what I say now.
I loved the snow we had on Saturday, nothing like snow to get you in the holiday spirit. Can we get more snow please? I remember hating the snow growing up in Western NY. Walking to school in it, shoveling, digging the car out every morning. Hated it! But now I really miss it. Karen and I were talking about that on facebook Saturday, and I think we came to the conclusion that we miss the happy memories most of all, before tragedy got to us. Before the death of our mom, her husband dying, Daddy dying and Samuel being killed. During the holidays, you really think about the loved ones that are no longer here and how much you miss the happier times. I think we were both feeling that.
But even with all the sadness we still have happy times. The memories we are creating now. Like our Christmas cookie baking with our boys. We do this every year, even though I think Ezekiel and Elijah would rather just eat the cookies instead of making them. We always have a huge mess, and at least one batch of our cookies never come out right, but it's for the memories. We'll look back on this time and remember it fondly, hopefully our boys will too....messed up cookies and all.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
One of Samuel's friend has not forgotten him. She put flowers on his grave for Christmas. I really appreciate this since I'm not there in TX. Plus, I have a hard time going to the cemetary when I am there. I hate knowing my son's body is under there. I know it's just his body, but it's still so hard.
Gone - but never, ever forgotten.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
We got snow today! Not a lot, but enough to get us all excited and cover the ground. The snow definitely put us in the holiday mood.
There's nothing more magical than snow and being outside playing in it.
Watching holiday specials - these are the times we will cherish when they are older.
This right here....
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
I love this time of year. The lights, the decorations, the tree, the Christmas music. All of it. It's a magical time of year.
This year is a little bit different for me. I'm missing Samuel, but also Manuel is dealing with a lot right now. Choices he has made, has made his life difficult right now. He's 20, made some mistakes, but now has to live with them. I was hoping he and Carmen would be here for Christmas, but I'm not sure that is going to happen now.
I wanted Manuel's life to be so different from what it is. I wanted Samuel's life to turn out different than it did. But again, all the coulda, woulda, shoulda is not going to help the situation. I just pray everyday for Manuel, his life and his daugher, my grandbaby, Carmen. I want her life to be so much better than what she has right now, but it's out of my hands. There is nothing I can do about it....except pray....for all of them.
When I started this post, I was going to talk about the magic of this season, but right now, as I sit and type this, my heart is hurting and I can't seem to think about the magic right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better and I will see and feel the magic again.