Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
I don't think I can put into words what this weekend was. It was amazing, awesome, phenomenal, mind-blowing, soul satisfying, fun, refreshing! That is just a few words I can come up with.
This past weekend was South Centrals Church of Christ womens retreat...on the beach! I connected with woman I never thought I would connect with. We laughed, shared secrets, heartaches and acted silly. We walked on the beach in the moonlight, sang on the beach as the sun rose and just connected on a level I can't even begin to describe! I'm having a hard time finding the words!
Watching the sun rise on the beach in my pj's was something I have always wanted to do and I will never forget it. It is just amazing what God has created...the beauty just took my breath away! God is an AWESOME God and I felt Him there with me.
I have so many pictures to share, so many emotions! There is nothing like spending time with women who are struggling just like me, have heartaches, have pasts, but by the grace of God are here and sharing what God has bought them through! It was life changing!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Enjoy your childhood and don’t wish it away. These days are going to fly by and one day you will be wishing for this time.
Do your best in school. Don't do the minimum just to get by. And when you get that F, don’t try to change it to an A, you will get found out.
Spend as much time as you can with Mommy. Find out all about her life, her thoughts, and her dreams. Hug her often and tell her you love her every day. She will be gone much too soon and you will wonder all of these things.
Never ever stop believing or praying. When life gets tough, God is always there.
LOVE YOURSELF! Cherish yourself and your body. You are special and you don't need anyone or anything to make you feel special. You already are!
Wait to fall in love. God has someone in store for you, and if you don’t wait you will be headed for heartache.
Cherish your babies when they are little. I know it’s hard when they are crying in the middle of night, having to change diapers and dependant on you for everything, but it won’t always be this way. They will grow up, and you will wonder where your babies went.
Be patient! I know how hard this is for you. A little patience goes a long way.
ALWAYS! ALWAYS! ALWAYS....tell the people in your life how much you love them. Tomorrow is not promised.
As a Mom, you will have to experience your worst nightmare, but remember God is always there with you. Your friends and family are there for you also. When you feel like you just want to lie down and die, call on God. He will be there for you. I promise.
I love you and we are going to make it on this journey we call life….together.
Labels: daily life
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Samuel fishing with Ezekiel and Elijah
I'm having a rough time today. To be honest, it started last night. Fonzy and the boys were at football practice and I was home alone. I’ve been watching the Ghost Whisperer lately. I know, some people might think it’s a corny show, but within the past few months, I’ve been DVR-ing all the past episodes. Normally, I can watch the show and I’m ok, but last night it got to me. I started thinking about Samuel wishing I could just talk to him one last time. To hug him and tell him how much I love and miss him. Then last night, I dreamt about him. He was a kid, about 11 or 12 and I knew he was dead, so I just grabbed on to him and held him so tight. I didn’t want to let go, because I knew if I did, I wouldn’t get the chance to hold him again. The alarm went off while I was holding him. I wanted so much to go back to sleep and find him again in my dreams. I guess that’s why I’m kind of down today. I’m really missing Samuel. I’m at work trying to hold it together; it’s not working…..
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Oh, to be a kid again!
I sometimes wish I could go back to that time. When life was so simple.
A time before death, broken hearts, disappointments and all the ugliness of this world. A time of innocence.
Sometimes it's so hard to make it through the day, with all the responsibilites we have. Maybe we just need to drop it all, just for a moment and run down a grassy hill, laughing all the way!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Not only are the boys playing football this year, Fonzy is too! See...this is why I had to learn to love football. Come Fall, that's all it is...football, football, football!
Fonzy joined a flag football league and started his own team. The Desperados. He got a few guys he worked with, a couple of guys from the church and did some recruiting and the Deperados were born! This is some shots from their second game. I missed the first one. Unfortunately, they lost both games, but they are a new team and hopefully once they get use to playing together they will start kicking butt! At least we hope so!
My sexy man!
warming up before the game
I remember as a little girl, I hated football, but now I love it. Having four boys, and a husband who has football in his blood, I had to learn to love it. We are in the second week of games. The boys are playing with the Knightdale Knights. Elijah plays for the mini-mites and Ezekiel plays for Pee Wee. So far both teams are undefeated.
Ezekiel and Elijah love football just like Fonzy, but Saturdays can sometimes be stressful. When Ezekiel and Elijah play football against each other, they are on top of their game. They hit hard, run hard and even talk trash to each other. Now put them on a field with other kids their age and they change! They act like they have never played football a day in their life! It’s so frustrating, especially to Fonzy. Coaches always say Elijah has so such talent, but when it comes to game time, it disappears. There have been many times Fonzy has wanted to jump out on the field and shake Elijah. We keep telling him that if he doesn’t start playing like he knows how to play, he will be on the bench! Unfortunately Ezekiel is experiencing that now. He is on the 2nd string and he gets so frustrated when he doesn’t play, but he didn’t prove himself during practice. And being their first year with this team, it makes it even harder. You need to shine, or on the bench you go.
I’m kind of caught in the middle with the boys and Fonzy. I know how frustrated he gets because he knows the potential they have, but then I feel bad for them when he is getting on to them. It’s a mom thing I guess. I know they need him getting on to them, because they perform better when he does. I just try to remind him to point out the good first, or I'll do it myself.
It’s early in the season, so I’m hoping they start to shine and perform like we know they can. If not, it might be a long season!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Everyday after work, I pick up Elijah from school and we head home. Our route takes us on a fairly busy street before getting on the beltline. The past couple of weeks on this busy street I've noticed a homeless women. At least I think she's homeless. She has a cart that she pushes laden down with bags, clothes, cardboard boxes and other misc. objects. Everyday on our way home, I find myself looking for her. I often wonder what happened in her life to bring her to this point. Does she have any family? Does anyone care? I've thought about stopping, but then what? What can I do? Sure, I could offer her money, but whatever I give wouldn't change her situation. I want to do something, but just don't know what.
I think about her all the way home and when I pull up into our driveway I sit there for a second and thank God for all He has given us. We have been blessed with a house, and I truly thank God everyday for it, because not everyone has that.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
I will not play tug o' war. I'd rather play hug o' war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.
Friday, September 10, 2010
I LOVE Fall!
I know, I know...how many times am I going to say it! As much as I want!
I LOVE Fall!
Karen is coming over tonight and we are doing some Fall baking. I got the new Betty Crocker fall baking book in the mail last week (thanks to my BFF Susan) and I think I like something on every page. Tonight we are making Pumpkin-Pecan Chocolate Chunk Cookies, Apple-Topped Cheesecake w/caramel topping and Pumpkin chocolate chip bread!
Yum! Yum! Yum!
Lose 15lbs - uh yeah...not happening any time soon!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
We are on this earth for such a short time. Some of us a lot shorter than others. I think constantly of all the people I've lost in my life. I still find it hard to believe Samuel is gone. When mommy died, I thought I would never know pain like that again. That her dying when I was 16 was certainly the worst thing I would ever have to go through in this life. I was wrong. It's been 1 year, 3 months, and 17 days since Samuel was killed. My world will never be the same. I watch the news with stories of other moms losing their children to senseless violence, and my heart aches for them. I know what's in store for them. Trying to make it day by day, but sometimes all you can do is cry. You think about the baby you carried, the toddler, the kid, the teen and you wonder what their life would have been like if they were still alive. I wonder about Samuel all the time. His birthday is coming up next month and I've been toying with the idea of sending the guy who shot him a birthday card or letter, so he can know it's Samuel's birthday and that because of him, he is not here to celebrate it. Does that sound crazy? I know I have other MOMS who read my blog. What do you think? I don't want him to ever forget what he took from me.
My world will never be the same as it was before May 23, 2009. That day changed my life forever. I miss Samuel so much, but as long as I am on this earth, he will not be forgotten. And I know one day, when I leave this earth, I'll see him again.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Well, our long weekend has come to end. Even though summer is not officially over, it's over for me. I'm ready for Fall! Bring on the cooler weather, sweaters, fall baking, football, cozy blankets and hopefully lots of knitting! What better time to knit than Fall. I have a list of projects I'm trying to complete. Some of them are for Christmas gifts. I need to get knitting!
But before we get into full fall mode....here's the last swim of the season.
Good-bye Summer. Hello Fall!