Monday, July 20, 2009

Mom, Wife, Sister, Aunt, Friend and......

I’m many things, a mom, a wife, a sister, an aunt, a friend, and soon, I will add another name….Grandma. Manuel, my now oldest son, is having a baby. When the baby is born he will be 19, the same age I was when I had him. I can’t say that I was shocked when I got the news. I met his girlfriend Andrea, when I was in TX for Samuel’s funeral. She basically lives with Manuel and his Dad, so I knew it was only a matter of time. Manuel is not ready for a baby. He doesn’t even have his life together, but I’m hoping this baby will motivate him to get it together. He needs to finish school, and hopefully aspire to more than a job at a fast food place. As I sit and type this, I realize that’s exactly where I was….18, pregnant with Samuel and working at McDonalds. I think we all turned out OK, and I pray it will for Manuel and Andrea. It’s not going to be an easy road. Manuel is already seeing that. Andrea has been having a rough time with morning sickness, and this is just the beginning. He’s nervous about being a Dad, and who wouldn’t be at 18. I look at pictures of him, and can’t believe he’s going to be a Dad. He’s just a kid himself. But so was I when I had Samuel.

Manuel and Andrea want a boy, and said they want to name him Samuel. I knew that would be his name. I’m secretly hoping for a girl. I had all boys and would love to have a Granddaughter to spoil. People may think I'm crazy, but I’m excited. I feel I’m too young (I will be 39 when the baby is born) to be a Grandma, and I surely don’t feel like a Grandma, but I’m going to wear the title proudly, because this baby is a blessing, especially after losing Samuel.

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first pic of Grandbaby - sent via cellphone

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Samuel's Headstone

Samuel's Headstone

I got the proof yesterday for Samuel's headstone. This is the bronze plaque that will be attached to a marble base. A lasting memory of his life. My favorite baby picture, with his brothers, at the computer composing his music and the most recent picture of him. The circle is where a bronze vase will be for flowers.

I think they did a beautiful job. They should have it finished and set at his gravesite within a few weeks.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mommy, Mommy, Watch This!

What I heard this afternoon....

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!

Mommy, did you see that?

Mommy, Look!

Mommy, take my picture!

Mommy, did you get that shot?

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Pig Pickin'

Last night we went to Jay's house for a pig pickin'. After seeing the pig on the grill, I will have my pork out of the grocery store...thank you very much.

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The pig's hoof! YUCK! Gabby tore it up.

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See those hotdogs on the grill...that is what I ate. I tasted some of the pig, but it was too pig tasting for me, if that makes any sense. Wilbur was alive and well just the day before, so this was way too fresh for me!

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Want some? Uh, no!

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Fonzy getting a plate.

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Once it got dark, the kids, along with Damien, played video games.

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Alyssa and TJ decided to watch TV in bed.

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And no family gathering is complete without a game of Spades and alot of trash talk.

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Around the Spade table

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And just one more look of why I did not eat Wilbur!

YUCK!!!!!!

How nasty is that!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Catching up - kids, kids and more kids!

I'm trying to catch up on posting some recent pictures I took. Last Thursday I decided to do the mom thing and stay home with the boys, but not only did I have Ezekiel and Elijah, I had Jay's two kids, my neice and nephew Alyssa and Matthew and Vicki's(sister-in-law) two little ones, Gabby and Mccadam. I'm sure I didn't spell that right. So I spent most of the day with 6 kids! Not normal for me at all. Vicki dropped the kids off bright and early at 6:40am, so we had breakfast and headed to a local trail to play in the creek...a very dirty creek. I really just wanted to take pictures, so had to do something the kids wouldn't mind and to keep them all occupied.

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Breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. It was kind of smokey, with all the frying going on.

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the boys, left to right - Ezekiel, Elijah, Mccadam, and Matthew

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the girls, Alyssa and Gabby

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our shadows

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creepy, crawly things along the way

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the creek

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I threatened the kids if they got their clothes wet, they would not be allowed back in the truck, hence them holding up their shorts.

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Elijah and Mccadam

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my feet - the only proof that I was actually there

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After the creek, we hit the pool!

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I tried to get a nice picture of all six of them - this was the best I could get.

I'm here....

I've been meaning to post for a few days, but I never seem to get to it. Actually, the other night I had a post all set with pictures from Ezekiel's birthday and lost the post! Needless to say, I was not thrilled and just shut down the computer after that. So here I am, trying again.

Today hasn't been a great day....feeling a little down. I got a call from the DA yesterday that two of the boys involved in Samuel's murder have been indicted....both for murder. They originally just had the shooter for murder, and the other for conspiracy to commit murder, but both are now charged with murder. Some would say that is good news, they need to be punished, but regardless of what they are charged with or what sentence they are given, it won't bring Samuel back. No court date has been set yet.

I've noticed that my blog hasn't been all that cheerful lately. I don't want it to be a place of sadness, but Samuel's death is now a part of my life, so sometimes there will be sadness. But life can't always be sad, right? I do have some happy times and have the pictures to prove it.

Ezekiel celebrated his 10th birthday, I took pictures, but being the procrastinator I am (which I'm not proud of) I am just posting them. His birthday was low key this year, a pool party, but I think he had a good time.

HaPpY 10th BiThDaY EzEkIeL!

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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Mother's Pain - MJ Memorial

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Michael Jackson casket

As I sit and watch the Michael Jackson memorial, my thoughts go to Catherine Jackson. No matter what Michael means to the world, he was just one of her babies. She carried him for 9 months, changed his diapers, took care of him when he was sick, and saw the boy become a man. She was proud of all his accomplishments, and I'm sure felt his pain in the trying times. But through it all, he was simply her son.....not the King of Pop....but Michael. I wonder how much of this memorial she is taking in…..are her eyes focused on the casket that holds her son. A son she will never hold again.

I remember bits and pieces of Samuel’s funeral, but what is burned in my memory is Samuel, lying in a casket. A place he should not be….not before me.

I feel Catherine’s pain right now, because it’s a pain I also share. The pain of losing a son…way too soon.